Happy Mother's Day!

On Mother's Day, we often acknowledge and celebrate our own mothers or friends who are mothers. This article from the South China Morning Post is a wonderful tribute, long over-due, to the domestic helpers of Hong Kong who plays a huge 'motherly' role by taking care of Hong Kong's children. Most are of Filipino, Indonesian, Nepalese, Malaysian descent who left their own families in their home country to earn a living here in Hong Kong. I believe they are the backbone of Hong Kong because their domestic role enable parents to work outside of the home, contributing to the robust Hong Kong workforce and economy. Below is an article in salute of them!

Gratitude goes out to the other mothers of the house

Every year on Mother's Day we express our gratitude to the women who brought us into this world, as well as to those women who nurtured us during out childhood: adoptive mothers, older sisters, aunts, friends and teachers. In Hong Kong, I believe that we should also pay tribute to a special group of women who earn their living by serving as behind-the-scenes mothers: the domestic helpers who care for our children while we are away from the home pursuing careers.

We working "mothers of origin" are often reluctant to admit the extent to which our domestic helpers influence the education of our children. Perhaps our absence from home makes us feel too guilty to acknowledge this. In my family, I know that the title of "the other mother" was not an exaggeration. I have lived in Hong Kong for 30 years, where my husband and I have raised our two sons with the dedicated support of Estela, a hard-working woman from Ilocos Norte, whose common sense, discipline and sheer love of her two charges permitted me to run a non-profit organisation without anxiety about my family at home.

My American friends rolled their eyes and snickered at my pampered lifestyle. In the US, such service is available only to the highly affluent and most working mothers live with relentless stress and sleep deprivation. Estela lived in our home for 18 years and carried out all of the chores of the traditional housewife, as well as a good share of child-rearing. Her role was not limited to the nitty-gritty of changing diapers and making meals for children. She also took on the responsibility of teaching values and manners and providing a crucial sense of security.

"When your mum is not home, I am your mum," she told the boys. This was her way of saying: "Don't worry about anything and don't even think about misbehaving."

Whenever our children visited the US, Americans would remark on their good manners and politeness. These habits were surely drilled into them by Estela, whose behaviour towards others was graceful and respectful. Their New Jersey mother cannot take credit for that.

The children learned many other things from her, too. They learned how to sing and laugh and find joy in every moment - a gift which seems to be a cultural trait of the fun-loving people of the Philippines. And thanks to "bath time" with Estela, they also learned the Tagalog words for body parts. Today, we still use the word kilikili, which is a lot more fun than "armpit".

Above all, the boys learned from Estela the meaning of "sacrifice". It is difficult me to grasp the courage and selflessness required to leave one's family and familiar surroundings to clean toilets in the home of strangers; to take care of someone else's children so that your own have the opportunity to go to school and lead a brighter future.

What always intrigues me is that the domestic workers, despite their lowly status in Hong Kong's social hierarchy, seem more cheerful and content than many local residents. Perhaps it is the sense of purpose and devotion to their families that gives their lives meaning.

Estela's contribution to our family permitted me to carry out a rewarding career, which also enabled me to contribute to our family finances. So we both had the same goal. But I know that I am the one who got the better deal.

The modern-day phenomenon of working mothers and imported domestic helpers is a complicated, controversial social issue. But today I would like to salute Estela, Minda and Nora, who over the years have humbly played the role of "the other mother" in our home. And I wish a happy Mother's Day to all domestic helpers in Hong Kong.

By Michelle Vosper who is the director of the Asian Cultural Council in Hong Kong.